Suspecting that your partner is having an affair with another woman is one of the most unsettling experiences you can endure.
Even without confirmation, your suspect feelings are likely to make you feel everything from betrayal and sadness to anger and sometimes even guilt.
Unfortunately, on many occasions, your suspicions may not always be correct. Even though intuition can serve us well, that is not always the case when it comes to a cheat.
Studies have indicated that serial cheaters are far more experienced at covering their tracks than average. In fact, they are prone to use psychological tactics such as emotional manipulation and what psychologists refer to as gas-lighting.
This is where the cheater will manipulate their partners by deliberately providing them with false information in order to make them doubt their own memory or perception of certain events.
How to Catch him Cheating
If you suspect that your husband or partner may be having an affair with another woman, then you need to have real, objective and concrete evidence. It may be tempting to rely on your instinct or gut feelings alone, but it may end up backfiring if it’s not true.
#1 Change Plans Without Warning
The one thing a cheater often relies on is the same routine, this enables them to plan ahead and organize arrangements with the other woman without you ever finding out.
So if you are a creature of habit that does the same thing day in day out, you may want to consider mixing things up a little. Make sure to do this without notice though, as otherwise, you may give him the opportunity to quickly re-arrange things.
For example, you could say that on a certain day you are going on a girls night with friends, but cancel the plans when the day arrives. This won’t raise any suspicion that you suspect a thing, but may just rumble him if he is up to no good.
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#2 Collect Evidence
The reality is that memory isn’t as reliable as we would like, therefore, in order to verify your suspicions you need to collect as much evidence of infidelity as possible. Record and keep things like credit card records, cash withdrawals, and car mileage.
This type of evidence can help provide reassurance that it isn’t just all in your head, and if there is a pattern forming, it can help you confirm your suspicions.
#3 Turn Up Without Warning
Partners typically have to have a planned time and place to commit infidelity, whether that be after work or on the weekends. Often they’ll say they’re going out for drinks with friends or that they have to attend a business meeting.
Therefore, if you have suspicions it might be a good idea to turn up without warning. This will allow you to see that they are telling the truth for yourself. Make an excuse as to why you are popping by and verify if everything really is just as innocent as he said it was.
#4 Check his Phone
One of the best ways to check if your partner has been cheating on you is to check his phone. You can either do some snooping and have a look when he’s busy or if it’s password protected innocently ask to borrow his phone.
Once you have got access look at text messages, phone call records, emails, and photos. Does anything look out of the ordinary? Are there any unknown numbers or numbers saved under a name you are unfamiliar with? These are some of the tell-tale signs that are not as obvious as an explicit text message or photograph.
#5 View Internet Browsing Data
Another great place to look for suspicious behavior and concrete evidence is your partner’s internet search history. This will allow you to see what websites they have been looking at, where they have accounts and what apps they might have downloaded.
Typically you can also see dates, timestamps and see how many times they have visited a certain page and website. This is a great way to notice patterns. Of course, search history is easily deleted, so it’s not a foolproof or guaranteed way to discover anything. Still, it’s certainly worth a try.
#6 Ask Leading Questions
Don’t make accusations, but simply ask questions that may provide you with some clarity on his suspicious behavior. For example, if he has to go to a meeting too often or at the same time every week, ask him why and if he can re-arrange them from time to time.
The responses to these very innocent questions can often provide you with further evidence down the line and provide you with some clarity. After all, maintaining a healthy amount of communication is essential for maintaining a strong and trusting relationship.
#7 Follow Him
If you have gathered lots of evidence and have noticed a clear pattern of suspicious behavior, then following your partner may be an appropriate way to find out the truth.
It’s important to have a high level of suspicion and substantial evidence, as otherwise, you run the risk of looking like a complete maniac if your partners been telling the truth all along.
Other Signs of Cheating
If you are already suspicious of your partner’s infidelity, then you are probably well aware of some of the most common signs of emotional and physical cheating. However, here is an overview of some of the most common signs to watch out for:
#1 Overprotective of His Cell Phone
If you suddenly realize that your partner is being more secretive with their mobile phone use, then this a common major warning sign that they may be up to no good. This includes leaving your presence when they take a call or read text messages and emails and having an overreaction if you happen to pick up their phone or ask to use it.
A partner that seems to carry their phone around with them constantly may also indicate they don’t want to risk you seeing anything.
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#2 Increased Spending
If you notice more transactions taking place in your joint bank account, then this could be a sign that he is wining and dining another woman. Cheating rarely occurs with zero financial cost – dinner dates, gifts, drinks and sometimes even hotel rooms are not free, so look out for unexplained expenses.
#3 Taking More Care of His Appearance
A partner that is taking more care of himself than usual can also raise concerns, as it may be motivated by the sexual and emotional advances of another woman. Is he going to the gym more often? Is he dressing smarter for work? It may be a sign that he is in the honeymoon period with another party.
#4 Conflict in Your Relationship has Increased
Often when someone is cheating they will try to sabotage their current relationship by creating a negative atmosphere. This is often done due to feelings of guilt or an attempt to encourage you to end the relationship before you ever discover he’s met someone else. Therefore, if you notice your husband is more moody and negative than usual and maybe actively causing arguments, it may be a warning sign that he’s trying to create an escape route.
#5 They Leave for Work Early & Get Back Late
Is your husband routinely leaving the house for work earlier than he needs to? Or are they getting back late every day, blaming their boss for overworking them? If they are regularly finding excuses to be away from home, it may be a sign of a planned encounter with the other woman.
Often people who commit infidelity with a work colleague who may also be married or in a relationship attempt to find mutually convenient times to meet without arousing too much suspicion.