Last Updated on June 16, 2020
Making the choice to start a family is probably one of the most life-changing decisions anyone can make. But for lesbians, the initial stages can often be full of challenging questions.
For many, the very obvious and most pressing question, is how do lesbians get pregnant? Believe it or not, but there are a variety of different options available and essentially they all involve uniting a sperm and an egg via some type of method.
In simple terms, you can do this the old fashioned way i.e. intercourse between a man and woman, use the “turkey baster” method or pursue some form of medical treatment or service. This typically includes artificial insemination or surrogacy.
At Home Insemination or Intercourse
Often fertility clinics are expensive and for many people, the process can be a long one, as a result, many choose at home insemination or sexual intercourse with a willing sperm donor.
Not only are these two options much less costly than the likes of in vitro fertilization (IVF) and surrogacy, but they actually have an incredibly high success rate in comparison.
Intercourse between a man and a woman is how most people conceive and so it’s often the most convenient and fastest ways. However, some lesbian couples are not comfortable with the idea of adding another party into their relationship in such an intimate way.
Once you have found a willing man to provide a sperm donation to you and your partner, you will need to discuss how you are going to achieve fertilization. This matter largely comes down to personal preference and some couples find it easy to detach themselves emotionally.
However, some couples just don’t like the idea of sex with a man at all and opt for the artificial insemination approach instead. This method is often very successful but does require more consideration and patience than simply having intercourse.
Turkey Baster Insemination
By now you’ve probably heard of lesbian couples and single women using a turkey baster for at home insemination. Essentially, it removes the need for sexual intercourse with the male donor and for many women it’s been extremely successful.
In many ways, it’s very similar to artificial insemination in a fertility clinic (only much cheaper). It’s also how sperm from many prized bulls are harvested and then used to impregnate their cattle.
It may sound a little cold to use that analogy, but it works. In simple terms it involves all willing individuals to be present and the male supplying his sperm so that it can be placed into the gestational partner’s vagina.
What Does the Process Involve?
First things first, you are going to need a willing sperm donor to provide you with the sample at the point in the month you are going to be most fertile. You then need to organize a mutually convenient time to carry out the process in a calm and peaceful environment.
You are going to need a space that offers both privacy and calmness. It’s a very intimate process for both the male and female undertaking the DIY insemination. Ideally, you want a private room for both to do their business.
The man is going to need to ejaculate into a sterile container, so he is going to need to feel comfortable and be given the time and privacy to reach orgasm. Therefore, don’t disturb him during this process, just wait close by in another room.
Once he is finished and the sperm has been provided you need to place it into the appropriate partner’s vagina. There are many different ways to do this and that doesn’t just include the traditional turkey baster method.
DIY Insemination Kits
Do it yourself insemination kits are available online and on various popular websites. They include everything you need to perform the artificial insemination from start to finish. From collecting the sperm from the donor to delivering it into the willing partner efficiently and hygienically.
The best insemination kits often include a lubricant, ovulation test strips, syringes, and sterile collection cups. Some even come with a helpful step by step instruction leaflet.
Importantly, these kits often include a plastic syringe designed to be inserted into a vagina, which can provide a more comfortable and efficient sperm delivery. The same can’t be said about your average turkey baster or regular syringe.
A Regular Plastic Syringe
Probably the less expensive method is to use a regular plastic syringe. You can usually buy these from local chemists and online quite cheaply. Just always ensure they are sterile and come in a sealed wrapper.
Simply collect sperm from the collection pot and when you are ready to insert it into the vagina. Next, you simply force the plunger down gently so that all of the sperm is delivered into the vagina.
The main issue with using regular plastic syringes is that they just aren’t designed to be inserted into the vagina. Often they have sharp corners and can feel quite uncomfortable. For this reason, make sure you apply a healthy amount of lubricant before using one.
With care and proper planning and consideration for everyone involved in the process, getting pregnant as a lesbian couple can be a relatively straightforward process.
It’s important to maintain clear and understanding communication with everyone, including the sperm donor and between both partners. That means everyone should have a very good understanding of the overall process, potential consequences, and timescales.
The method of choice is a personal choice, perhaps a practice run may be a good idea, as well as talking to people who have gone through a similar process. After all there are many forums online where women can talk about their expierences and expectations.